So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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