He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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