What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
