Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dicks are not precious.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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