Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
