i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
