If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
