can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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