I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Congratulations! We have a period
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
