I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You were trust falling into bushes
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
