How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
