I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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