Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
