Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
