You really coming over, don't trick.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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