We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
