I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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