it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
