david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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