i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
