You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
