Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
