I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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