that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
