my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
