They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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