I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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