I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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