so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
