you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
