dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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