fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
