I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she woke up with a sticky ear
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
