so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
