i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
