I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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