jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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