i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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