i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
