Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Are we still banned from the library?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
