he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
