Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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