Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Randomize
