i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
