Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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