Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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