Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
