I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
if only i could text you this smell
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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