my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
