Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
