I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
