YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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