That's intense
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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