Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
